Nervous Faith

            Ten years ago today, Julie and I nervously made our way to Hegg Memorial Hospital in Rock Valley, Iowa for a very important delivery. Grandpa and Grandma Van took Ian, and we settled in, waiting for the arrival of the newest Else. It was almost like a date! (Not really.) We did watch a movie (Zoolander) and grab a bite to eat, but it was mostly nervous anticipation for the immanent pain of childbirth and new life to come.

            God’s beautiful gift to us, a sweet little girl with big brown eyes, was born on October 15. We named her Sophia (“Wisdom”) Abigail (after her maternal grandmother). Ian was (mostly) delighted to make her acquaintance. The day after her birth, we all drove home together in the snow (!) to begin life as a family of four. I nervously considered how I would be a good Dad to a boy and a girl.

            A few weeks later, Rev. Dr. Tom Smith, our pastor at Faith Reformed Church in Rock Valley, baptized little Sophia. He spoke these words over her: “Sophia…it was for you that Jesus Christ came into the world; for you he died and for you he conquered death; yes, for you, little one, you who know nothing of it as yet. We love because God first loved us.” As she was baptized I nervously considered these promises. Were they to be trusted? Was it true?

            Over the next nine years I’ve delighted in seeing this infant become a little girl, and little girl become a gracious little lady. Over the course of these years, I’ve often nervously prayed that God’s sweet Sophie would apprehend the depth of His great love for her. That she would believe in the promises spoken over her and one day make a good confession.

            Tomorrow my Sophie turns 10 years old, which is more than a little hard to believe. Today, Sophie will make the good confession. I’m a little nervous for her, only because this is a really big deal. She is affirming the meaning of her baptism, saying, “Yes, Lord, I believe that your promises for me, spoken over me at my baptism, are real. I believe that in Jesus Christ my sins are forgiven, that I’m your child, that your Holy Spirit will sustain me, and that you will resurrect me to eternal life.” Praise God! His promises are true. Praise God! He holds us dearly in His loving hands.

            For the rest of my life and hers, I will nervously pray for Sophie—that she will make good decisions, be a good friend, show generosity and kindness, and do her very best. I will nervously pray that, one day (a long, long time from now!) she will find a good, God-fearing man to love her and make her his wife; who will love her with the same kind of love by which Christ loves His bride, the church (Eph. 5:25). More than anything, I will pray that Sophie walk with Jesus, her Lord and Savior, every step of the way.

            The humbling thing for this Pastor-Dad is to acknowledge my own small faith. My faith is pretty “nervous.” But God is big. His love is magnificent. His trustworthiness knows no bounds. His generosity and kindness is breathtaking. I realize I don’t need to be nervous (“I believe! Help my unbelief!”). For Sophie and me and all of us…our acceptance before God does not depend on the strength of our faith, but on the strength of the one in whom we place our faith—Jesus Christ.

“True faith is…a deep-rooted assurance, created in me by the Holy Spirit through the gospel, that, out of sheer grace earned for us by Christ, not only others, but I too, have had my sins forgiven, have been made forever right with God, and have been granted salvation” (The Heidelberg Catechism, Answer 20).